The Weather Cock

he had a golden weather cock
bolted to his nose
when it swung then he could tell
which way the north wind blows
though sometimes when it spins around
it screws itself up tight
and then he’s no idea
if he’s going left or right.


Love Banana (to be sung in a calypso style to the tune of Galway Bay)

Be sure to write your love songs on bananas
cos kiwis dont go easy on your pen
and if you make a mistake with your feelings
you can peel the thing and start over again.

Up In Snowy Poetland : an open ended nonsense rhyme which will likely never find its end.

Up in snowy Poetland
the trains don’t run on time
because each station’s timetable
by order, has to rhyme

at ten past six each morning
the first express train runs
but doesn’t leave the platform
at least ’til half past one.

Up in snowy Poetland
for education’s sake
the local college campus
is built from angel cake

that a pastry chef from Paris, France
was architect for schools
is likely the main reason
all the students there are fools.

Up in snowy Poetland
a walrus is the mayor
his chief of staff’s a carpenter
(is there a reference there?)

and council meetings make no sense
in fact they often fail
with points of order hammered home
without the use of nails


The Grumpy Cuttlefish

The Cuttlefish is no cuddle fish
in fact he’s rather cold
alone inside a sardine tin
with all his legs uprolled
he blames the world for all his ills
and sneers at passing shoals
a solitary life indeed
if all the truth be told.

The other fishes try in vain
to welcome and engage
his interest in ocean life
but he thinks he’s reached an age
where he knows best
and all the rest
won’t acknowledge that he’s sage
so he’ll never be a cuddle fish
even if it’s all the rage.