Spring Cleaning

save me from the squirty fish
that’s lodged inside my head
he blocked the vaccuum cleaner
when I cleaned under the bed
and when I looked inside the hose
he jumped out to my surprise
then made his way right up my nose
and lodged behind my eyes
so now I have this squirty fish
a sucking on my brain
I doubt that I’ll be hoovering
under the bed again.


Moss Monkey Mann

moss covered monkey
underneath the tree
he thinks I can’t see him
I think he can’t see me
but as I watch his face all green
smiling left and right
it’s obvious he knows I’m there
just waiting out of sight
so we pretend that we’ve not seen
each other in the woods
and go our ways a satisfied
we could have if we could.

Under The Sea

I watched two fish a kissin’
a kissin’ in the sea
and making lots of bubbles
until they noticed me
then they stopped a kissin’
and looked at me wide eyed
’twas right then I realised
I never should have spied
upon two fishes kissin’
’tis rather impolite
so in future I’ll remember
to try to do what’s right
and not watch fishes kissin’
but something else instead
perhaps some cuddlin’ octopi
gettin’ down on the seabed

The Hungry Sun Beasts

they dropped their teeth on Venus
hoping to bite the moon
they left the sun before the dawn
and breakfast came too soon

they settled for the marmalade
the cheese was kind of far
but filled up on the muffins
as lunchtime was on mars

and when they’s ate their tummies full
they fell on Saturn’s rings
where they drank their weight in wine
and beer and scotch and things

The Mirror Man

I remember an old mirror
sporting Henry Winkler’s face
the legend read
“da Fonz is cool”
for years it’s been misplaced
I wonder what it’s doing now
that Henry Winkler’s old
perhaps it’s in an attic
still young and cool and bold.
As a mirror it really had no use
this painted looking glass
which is likely my hair was such a mess
in that dim and distant past
but like the Fonz, that part of me
is lost and far away
a turned up denim memory
of some old Happy Days.

No Idea

I thought I’d write a poem today
and fill it up with words
some of them familiar
and some you never heard
like squaddlecack and tattleknock
and even thumblelethread
don’t worry if they’re new to you
they just popped in my head
and you may ask what does it mean
as you read it close to tears
just think of me and spare a thought
I wrote it out my dears