nonsense rhyme

Badly Drawled Boy

come scallywags and lollygaggers
take me by the hand
show me the wonders known around
your dim and desperate plans
we’ll tap a binge up Scotty’s street
and slip down Vauxhall Road
I’ll be that berry vestest friend
that you’ll have ever knowed


A One Minute Rhyme Called Her Majesty The First

In my dream
I met the queen
sat upon her horse
I would have curtsyed
deep and long
but I was in bed
of course
and as I lay there
snug and warm
and feeling rather prone
she came
and sort of nighted me
upon a golden throne
her crown was made
of flowers rare
and how her sceptre glowed
as she said
arise now Sir
and off on her horse
she rode.

The Tale of the Moistened Ragpoles

Into the velvet dandygaps
the moistened ragpoles fell
their hair all polished up like wine
and stretched with piffle gel
inside they all got bigger
stoked up on moss and gleem
and battling for their cobble juice
the dandygaps were keen.

they left to fight for sausages
and blessed aunty Pats
rode out to war in tottle shirts
upon fierce floundercats
the battles raged for long and short
for seven days and twelve
and on the day of armistice
they surrendered to themselves