Now the holidays are here I’ll push a pine cone in my ear and shove a candy cane between my knees I want to make it very clear I do this each and every year to feel kinship with all the Christmas trees
there is a hedgehog in the yard I’ve called him spikey Jack I thought he was a tourist but he keeps on coming back to snuffle through the moonlight on these chilly winter nights I’d like to introduce myself but I don’t know if he bites I think he lives inside the leaves below the maple tree I hope one night he’s not to shy to say hello to me as I never met a hedgehog let alone been friends in that respect, I’ll leave for him some milk out this weekend perhaps then he will speak to me if he can talk at all or at least he’ll tip his hat before rolling in a ball, then I can say, I have a pal and his name is spikey Jack though he’s not like my other chums as he’s got spines upon his back.
I never stop at Hunt’s Cross no matter what the train everytime it flashes by and we always never twain I don’t know what’s at Hunt’s Cross perhaps there’s not a lot but I’d like to stop at Hunt’s Cross to see what Hunt’s Cross has got. Next time I’ll take a taxi no matter what the fare and hope the cabbie doesn’t say “Hunt’s Cross? …. ….why d’ya wanna go there?”
There is a little spider in my double yoo see and each morn he grows quite exponentially he smiled at me this evening as I took a pee then licked his tiny spider lips rather hungrily that can be disconcerting when one is in the loo alone I hope he doesn’t eat me as I’m sat upon the throne.
There’s a really ugly fish in the middle of my pond his underbite’s atrocious and his fins are far too long he sits among the weeds all day acting rather coy and carps on his misfortune and sucks all of the joy out of all the other fish which spend their time in there having to put up with him, it really isn’t fair I think I’ll catch a pelican and set him out to sneak around my little garden pond sporting his pointy beak with luck he’ll feel quite peckish and break the water’s still and gulp that ugly fish right up in his saggy bill.