nonsense rhyme

THREE UNFINISHED BATHROOM PIECES (HASTILY TAPED TOGETHER IN THE FASHION OF SIDE 2 OF ABBEY ROAD, A LONG PLAYING RECORD BY THE POPULAR LIVERPOOL BEAT COMBO THE BEATLES)

Oh magic mirror on the wall
are you that magic after all?
I ask you questions every day
you never have a thing to say.

I lost time
attempting to recreate
the clockwise
Coriolis effect
in my plughole
I’m sure I witnessed
during my shower
this morning
and settled on
the thoughts
of tailors in
Australia
and inside legs
and has the
world tripped over?

If I had a bag of sherbet dip
big enough to sleep in
I’d want you as my lollipop
if you were up for lickin’
You could be my dib-dab
sweet as sweet could be
all sugared up from tip to toe
a candy treat for me.

Proverbs 1.1

give a man a fish
and he’ll eat for a day
but give a fish a man
and you’ll likely hear him say
“what’s this pointless thing you’ve given me?”
(in his little fishy voice)
“as I’d rather have a wiggly worm
given half the choice.”
yes to give a fish a man my friends
is really quite absurd
but there are no more wiggly worms
thanks to all the early birds.

The Boy In The Bush Is A Daft Rhyme

the boy in the bush sings a song
to let the whole world know he’s there
for if he held still his little tongue
it’s doubtful he’d get anywhere

the boy in the bush wears no clothes
though nor does the bush in the fall
but as far as most anyone knows
it matters to neither at all

could I be the boy in the bush
all hidden away from your sight
and I grant you my voice is not much
but my little tongue does alright.

The Mild Mannered Maniac Rehashed

this mild mannered maniac
sees himself a sage
juxtaposing there and here
upon the printed page

just like Johnny’s Nowhere Man
he knows not what to do
‘cept scribble, type or drag his pen
to bring words out to you

he may not be an artist
or romantic balladeer
just a simple mild mannered maniac
with rhymes for you to hear

so please give him at least the chance
consider his poor verse
he may not be the best of men
but he’s certainly not the worst.