nonsense rhyme

Jack

there is a hedgehog in the yard
I’ve called him spikey Jack
I thought he was a tourist
but he keeps on coming back
to snuffle through the moonlight
on these chilly winter nights
I’d like to introduce myself
but I don’t know if he bites
I think he lives inside the leaves
below the maple tree
I hope one night he’s not to shy
to say hello to me
as I never met a hedgehog
let alone been friends
in that respect, I’ll leave for him
some milk out this weekend
perhaps then he will speak to me
if he can talk at all
or at least he’ll tip his hat
before rolling in a ball,
then I can say, I have a pal
and his name is spikey Jack
though he’s not like my other chums
as he’s got spines upon his back.

An Old Piece of Nonsense Rhyme Called The Mersey Tunnel Monster

We walked down deep on the Dock Road spur
we’d heard a monster lived down there
that ate up children who took no care
along the tunnel’s Dock Road spur.

among the glass and broken road
into the dark we boldly strode
bound by a youthful honour code
to which we all to all had owed

and after but a little while
possibly about a mile
we thought we spied a toothy smile
perhaps a giant crocodile?

so we ran for all our might
from such a terrifying sight
that promised us an awful plight
in the tunnel dark as night

but when I think back from afar
and all the fears on my radar
in the years twixt now and yar
perhaps it was a motor car?

Hunt’s Cross Blues

I never stop at Hunt’s Cross
no matter what the train
everytime it flashes by
and we always never twain
I don’t know what’s at Hunt’s Cross
perhaps there’s not a lot
but I’d like to stop at Hunt’s Cross
to see what Hunt’s Cross has got.
Next time I’ll take a taxi
no matter what the fare
and hope the cabbie doesn’t say
“Hunt’s Cross? ….
….why d’ya wanna go there?”

Ugly Fish


There’s a really ugly fish in the middle of my pond
his underbite’s atrocious and his fins are far too long
he sits among the weeds all day acting rather coy
and carps on his misfortune and sucks all of the joy
out of all the other fish which spend their time in there
having to put up with him, it really isn’t fair
I think I’ll catch a pelican and set him out to sneak
around my little garden pond sporting
his pointy beak
with luck he’ll feel quite peckish and break the water’s still
and gulp that ugly fish right up in his saggy bill.