The Toaster of Lurve (more nonsense)

I just can’t get my muffin
in the toaster of love
it will not fit snug in the slot
no matter how I shove
I know it’s really measured
for a normal piece of bread
but I do not fancy toast
I’ll try a crumpet instead.


Skipjacking : a one minute nonsense rhyme influenced by a German cat food tin.

this tuna fish is heavenly
the dolphin said to me
it goes well on the sandwiches
I’ve cut up for high tea
I asked him who’s invited
he told me nobody
on Thursdays everyone has school
so he’ll have no company.

Why don’t you ask a friendly whale
or a porpoise possibly
to sit down to comestibles
so you won’t be lonely
he told me he’d not made enough
not sandwiches, nor tea
so he’ll simply put the telly on
and eat supper quietly.

Seasonal Nonsense Rhyme

I tried to write a Christmas card
but found that I could not
as to whom I was to send it
was something I forgot

was it for the doctor?
or maybe for his nurse?
did I get one for the baker?
my memory’s the worst.

did I buy it for the keeper
of the parrots at the zoo
or maybe for a missionary
in far off Kathmandu?

maybe looking at the card
will help me break this curse
then I can take my ballpoint pen
to compose a little verse

at last I had a brainstorm
a bolt out of the blue
my little card’s this poem
with love from me to you.