Dust Jacket Blurb

If I was a pretty boy
i’d just write pretty words
but being funny looking
I stick to the absurd
they say you write what is inside
the cover’s not the book
but I’m convinced some inspiration
comes from the way one looks
I look into the mirror
and laugh at what I see
which some days can reflect itself
as nonsense’d verse from me.

Mid Life Nonsense Verse.

the midlife crisis came and went
without a million dollars spent
on plastic surgeons for my nose
or all too tight Italian clothes
a sports car never was my thing
nor watches, chains or diamond rings
no younger belle to ease my fears
of the advancing autumn years
the one nod to my advancing grief
was a change from boxer shorts to briefs.


Around the world in eighty ways
should keep me busy all my days
to try and think of crossing oceans
using various forms of locomotion

I’ll start I think upon a bike
then perhaps a mountain hike
to find a bobsleigh up a peak
and slide back down into the street

whereupon with little fuss
I jump aboard an omnibus
and at Woodside I’ll find a mule
to ride his pack to Liverpool

there procure passage on a ship
up the gangplank I will skip
and hold court at the captain’s table
on roller skates if I am able

the cold Atlantic winds I’d brave
off to the new world on the waves
pondering in my easy chair
just what I’ll do when I get there

The Boy In The Bush Is A Daft Rhyme

the boy in the bush sings a song
to let the whole world know he’s there
for if he held still his little tongue
it’s doubtful he’d get anywhere

the boy in the bush wears no clothes
though nor does the bush in the fall
but as far as most anyone knows
it matters to neither at all

could I be the boy in the bush
all hidden away from your sight
and I grant you my voice is not much
but my little tongue does alright.